Tag Archives: calling

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Here’s The Best Way To Figure Out Your Next Steps

Hint: You have to ACT in order to KNOW

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I have a bias toward inaction. Meaning I’d rather think about doing stuff than actually do stuff.

I’d rather think about making a big impact in the world than do the small, un-sexy things that actually change the world.

I’d rather imagine myself shirtless at the beach sporting tanned six-pack abs than get up early, workout, and eat less sugar.

Having recently moved to a new city, I’d rather daydream about enjoying a tight knit community than do the slow, vulnerable work of pursuing new friendships.

And when it’s come to the necessary work of figuring out what to do with my life, all that thinking-and-not-doing has often created some challenges. It’s often resulted in me running headless-chicken-like in circles, anxiously yelling about how “I’ll never amount to anything” or “why can’t I figure this out? Everyone around me seems to have already figured it out! I’m such a loser! Aaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Ever think those kinds of thoughts? Know what it’s like to get stuck at a crossroads, wondering which way is best? Ever feel like everyone around you is taking off and soaring to new horizons while you keep circling the airport over and over and over?

If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by indecision, wondering which way to go, know this:

You can only steer a car that’s moving.

 (In this metaphor, you’re the car.)

In other words, there’s no way to get where you want to go in life – or even figure out where you want to go – without some kind of forward momentum.

But if you’re like me, you want to STOP moving. You want to press pause and figure everything out before you make the choice. You want to put everything on hold until you have some guarantees about what’s on the other side of your decision.

Yes, it’s good to consider your options. It’s good to do your research. It’s good to make a pros and cons lists. It’s good to run big choices by trusted friends and family. But it’s NOT good to let your need to know the outcome paralyze you with fear:

Fear that you’ll make the wrong choice.

Fear that you’ll miss out on something better.

Fear that you’ll look like a fool to the people you respect.

But you can’t “know” if you’re not moving. You have to ACT in order to KNOW.

You have to take small steps. You have to experiment a little. You have to try things on and see what fits. You have to get your hands dirty. You have to iterate and reiterate. You have to look up the word “iterate” to make sure you’re using it correctly in a sentence.

You have to act in order to know.

So what’s one small thing you can do after reading this post that will help keep you moving?

Do it. Keep the car moving. Keep practicing your steering, braking, accelerating. Working the basics will never fail to take you someplace significant.

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Understanding This Is Critical To Finding And Fulfilling Your Calling

There’s a saying in architecture: Form follows function.

What that means is if you don’t get the function right (if the building’s strength, integrity, and usefulness are shaky), then it doesn’t matter how pretty the building is (what form it takes).

But when it comes to you and finding your life’s calling, the opposite is true:

Function follows form.

In other words, the form of you should determine the function of you. Lemme ‘splain.

Your unique “wiring” is something that (ideally) gives direction to your life. Along with your experiences, relationships, and opportunities, your wiring is like a built-in GPS meant to direct you toward your biggest impact in the world and greatest satisfaction with life.

It’s a guide that wants to help you get from where you are to where you most want to go.

That’s why it’s critically important to understand and own all of your unique form. You need to be able to identify why you do what you do, and how the way you do it is unique to you. That insight will help you find and follow your life’s calling.

But when we don’t understand the qualities that make us uniquely us, we tend to take on forms that are not ours. We try to “put on” someone else’s idea of the form we should have. We’re David in King Saul’s armor, awkward, weighted down, and not much good for anything.

Taking on forms that are not ours leads us into all kinds of disaster: paralyzing confusion, dead ends, unnecessary loneliness, and unrealized dreams. Nothing will take us in an unhelpful direction faster than trying to copy someone else’s form.

Now, let’s get biblical, y’all.

In the beginning, when God creates everything from nothing, the Bible says things were “without form.” Then God gave them form, and voila! Planets! Oceans! Starbucks! And when he took a good look at all those forms he’d made, God “saw that it was good.”

With that in mind, try this: imagine God (or your idea of the divine) taking a good look at the utterly unique person you are. Then he pauses and says this about you: “It is goooooooood.”

In other words, your “form” is good for you and good for those around you.

Function follows form. So the next time you’re feeling lost, confused about your life’s purpose, or paralyzed with indecision while the clock ticks away, try doing the same:

Listen to what your form is telling you about what to do next.

Questions to think/talk/journal about:

  1. What other “forms” are you taking these days ? Can you see yourself as distinct from your parent’s form? Your pastor’s? Your employer’s? Your teacher’s? Your significant other’s?
  2. The only way to wholeheartedness (the Hebrew word is “shalom”) is by owning all of you. How can you more fully accept ALL of you? Are there parts being left out that need to be faced and embraced? Who can help you do that work?